• Loneliness and solitude are not directly opposites, but they are extremely different by definition. And the first, is not an intrinsically consequence of the second.

    "Loneliness only occurs when that specific, individual requirement goes unmet" -as Olivia Laing beautifully states in her New York Times's article-. Like the specific requirement to freely move, act and do at our own will. None of them being our choice, irretrievably entails loneliness, discarting solitude.

    One of the historical and unprecedented facts is that the loneliness we are individually experiencing it’s a shared state, inhabited by most of us at the moment. An acutely unpleasant feeling, that could lead to overdosis of anxiety, fear and despair.

    On its defense, Olivia Laing asserts that the weird gift of loneliness is that it grounds us in our common humanity, reminding

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  • The fine Art of Not being Offended starts with the understanding that "every statement, action and reaction of another human being is the sum result of their total life experience to date".

    If we are able to recognize that people "do what they do from their own set of fears, conclusions, defenses and attempts to survive", we can arrive to the conclusion that even when the harm is intended directly at us, has most probably nothing to do with us.
     

    Actually, it has more to do with all other times, and in particular the first few experiences, that the offender confronted a similar situation. We are all, at some point, just receptors of the projections and filters of each other’s life experiences, and often, we are just the recipient of their built-in reactions.

    We just happen to be there at that particular time. More than probably, If it weren’t us, it would likely be someone

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  • Actually, it doesn’t really matter that there is no real danger. Most of the things that we fear the most won’t put our life into question. Fear drives our lives, without us being aware of it; quoting Ezra Bayda: “fear motivates how we act and react”.

    We can’t deny the feeling of it, we can’t even stop experiencing it, but we can be able to accept that, fear, or at least the the intensity of our fears, it’s mostly a construction in our heads.

    And which are the three biggest ones? The fear of losing safety and control, the fear of aloneness and disconnection, and the fear of unworthiness. Ezra Baydastates, in this articlethat, by truly knowing our fears, we can start breaking their spell. More below, as usual, summarised for you.

  • You tell me.

    "Same thing as it's to you"..... Let me put that into question.

    It is a feeling? A feeling of what?
    I have several magnificent definitions of what freedom is to me, but all of them can be summarized by Nina Simone's definition (New York, 1968).
    If you are curious about what she had to say, watch the extract below (It's short, don't you worry.).

    But what would I really like to know, what is freedom TO YOU? How would you define it?