Unhappiness is a mistake – In this newsletter a couple of weeks ago, I challenged everyone to read a big ass book they’ve always wanted to read but never had the guts to. We’ve all got one. I joined in the challenge and decided to read the German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer’s principle work, The World as Will and Representation (yeah, I know, fuck me). Well, about 80 pages in, I made an exciting discovery.

If you’ve read a number of articles or books about happiness, you’ve probably come across, at some point, the following equation:

Happiness = Reality – Expectations

It’s pretty common. In fact, I even shared it in this newsletter once, many moons ago. I always figured it was a cute thing that came from some happiness researcher or self-help author. 

But, it turns out that it actually comes from Schopenhauer! Here’s the man himself: 

“All happiness depends on the proportion of what we claim and what we receive. It is immaterial how great or small the two quantities of this proportion are, and the proportion can be established just as well by diminishing the first quantity as by increasing the second.” 

He then goes on to explain that to maintain our happiness, we adopt one of two strategies. The first strategy is to simply want or expect less. This is the Buddhist strategy — to remove oneself of all desire or attachment so that reality can never upset or disappoint you. 

The second strategy is to live in so damn well that all of your expectations are fulfilled. This is the Western way — the way of expansion and growth and living in virtue.  

But here’s the really cool part. In explaining this, Schopenhauer points out that, regardless of your strategy, all unhappiness is ultimately rooted in the same thing: mistakes. 

“For whenever a man in any way loses self-control, or is struck down by misfortune, or grows angry, or loses heart, he shows in this way that he finds things different than what he expected, and consequently he lived under a mistake.” 

Translation: if you’re unhappy, it’s either because you had the wrong expectations, or you failed to materialize your expectations in reality. Either way: you fucked up. And this is what drives unhappiness, the sudden realization of one’s assumptions and expectations being so terribly wrong.